"... I am extremely confident about my body, the way I dress, the way I want to look. But I have no confidence when it comes to men. Men are a disaster area for me. It’s so weird because I believe I am super sexy. I believe I am incredible, but I have absolutely no luck with boyfriends.” -GaGa

I can be as cruel as you.

This is the only time I'm going to address this, and then I'm over it. Think what you want of me, but talking shit is completely inappropriate. Especially when what you're hearing probably happened 2 to 3 years ago. Are we still 17 and 18? No. Get over it. I take comfort in knowing that the people who actually matter in my life know the truth and don't judge me for anything I've ever done or "done".

And on that note, I feel like a lot of people underestimate me. I'm more aware of what's going on around me then you think.

Anyway moving onto something completely pointless and materialistic:

Somehow I need to collect all of these things before summer. It's definitely not happening. But hey, a girl can dream right?




















And here's my monster Winston because I'm a proud mom.

What

an exciting week I have coming up.
May 2: Lady Gaga with the CQ in the city.
May 3: Bamboozle.
May 5: Training in SoHo and drinking festivities.
May 6: Permit test and personal day. Weeoohh relaxing.
May 7 and 8: Job Fair at Menlo Park.

It's awesome that I'll only be working in Paramus one day next week, but still getting paid for 5. Weooh for a mini vacation.

There's weird noises coming from outside my window. I don't particularly enjoy it.

Today

was quite interesting. It was a good one, but interesting.
I'm siked on sleeping in tomorrow. It'll be a good day not waking up at 6am.
I hate not being able to get in touch with Liz. The most unreal shit happens to me when she's out of the country. Maybe I'm just jealous.

I can't wait

for Saturday. And 80 degrees of glorious warmness. I seem to be missing quite a bit of clothing. I have no idea where they could have gone. I'm going to assume I left them in Pennsylvania. Remind me to remind myself that I have to find a way to get it all back, be it Tina or Karen. This weekend may turn out to be better then I expected. I have to close Friday and then hopefully Katie's for the Joshes' going away party if Eric will take me. Saturday is the Mother Nature's Son show, it'll be good to see some old faces and such. And Sunday is Pil's brothers show. Weeeohh.

So I've come to a conclusion and it's final. No more stressing out and if I do stress out I want every one of my friends to hit me or spit in my face or something. It's almost summertimeeee I gotta live it up.

oh ew

Sorry about that completely unnecessarily emo post, I just had to get it off my chest. Anywayyyyy, today was quite uneventful, besides having to put a rather attractive man into the fitting room. I'm getting sick, and I'm really hoping it's allergies and nothing else. I have a feeling this weekend won't be too interesting either, but after the Friday I had this past weekend, I think I may need to relax. Someone come to the city with me sometime next week, it's still Employee Apperciation and I get paid Thursdayyyyyy. I need some new spring and summer clothes, immediately.


But if you ain't got the dance they revoke your spinning.
So good rappers ain't eating they Olsen twining.



Peace.

Mmmhmmm.

I never have anything to say. Nothing interesting to write about. It's sad that I know what I'm doing wrong. But I continue to do it. It's the same old cycle. Always has been for a couple of years now. I only admit that I know this to one person and alot of the time I tell her in the wrong way and end up getting mad at her for no reason. It's not fair. I'm sorry, you know who you are. And you're probably the only one who really knows what I'm talking about. If I want things in my life to change, I have to start with myself. I always tell myself, "oh this time things will be different" and I'll do real good in the beginning, and then just slip up and fall back into my old ways. I don't wish that I could go back four years, I just wish I could be a little more carefree like I was four years ago. I wish I didn't always have to plan things out and get ahead of the game. I wish I could just let things flow more naturally. I want to, but somehow I end up fucking it up. Overthinking always gets the best of me. And I overthink everything, work, guys, everything. I'm rambling. I don't even know why I'm posting this. But whatever. Maybe if I see it in writing it'll help me. I have to be happy with myself before anything. Hmmmph.

PS. And I've listened to this song 4 times consectiuviely now. Awesome.

I just want

Summer. Ugh, days like this are just a tease. I can't wait for it to be warm out everyday. This summer is going to be completely different than last year. I'm excited. Change is always a good thing.


I need something exciting to happen, asap. Life's been too normal lately.

And this brings me back to last summer and our beach trips.

how the fuck did i let this happen?

They travel fast and alone.

lkjhgfdghj.

It's been awhile. I'm awful at keeping up with these kinds of things. My birthday was amazing. I miss PA sometimes. But I do love being home and being with the CQ. They're amazing. I have a good group of friends and I wouldn't trade them for the world. My birthday weekend consisted of lots of beer and laughs and day drinking at Al's with my favorite guys.

Works been stressful, 9 hour days Monday-Friday, but floorsets almost over and things will hopefully go back to normal. Keep your fingers crossed for a week long vacation to Boston to visit my best friend sometime in May or June. I can't wait to get away. I need it.

This rain needs to stop, it's putting a serious damper on my mood. And I realize I let something get the best of me, and I shouldn't have. I'm not that type of person.

birthdayyyy pictures:













Gooooood times.

Liz comes home this weekend, I'm pumped.
Then Hoboken next weekend for Nicolette's birthday, and then Loop with my darling co-workers to celebrate Mom and I's birthday.


This brings me back to Freshmen year. I can't believe that I would be becoming a Senior if I was still at Stroudsburg. Weiiiiird.

Goodnight world.