.....

Mmmhmmm.

I never have anything to say. Nothing interesting to write about. It's sad that I know what I'm doing wrong. But I continue to do it. It's the same old cycle. Always has been for a couple of years now. I only admit that I know this to one person and alot of the time I tell her in the wrong way and end up getting mad at her for no reason. It's not fair. I'm sorry, you know who you are. And you're probably the only one who really knows what I'm talking about. If I want things in my life to change, I have to start with myself. I always tell myself, "oh this time things will be different" and I'll do real good in the beginning, and then just slip up and fall back into my old ways. I don't wish that I could go back four years, I just wish I could be a little more carefree like I was four years ago. I wish I didn't always have to plan things out and get ahead of the game. I wish I could just let things flow more naturally. I want to, but somehow I end up fucking it up. Overthinking always gets the best of me. And I overthink everything, work, guys, everything. I'm rambling. I don't even know why I'm posting this. But whatever. Maybe if I see it in writing it'll help me. I have to be happy with myself before anything. Hmmmph.

PS. And I've listened to this song 4 times consectiuviely now. Awesome.